When Jason and I started our adoption, I never in my heart felt that I needed to know any information about my soon to be daughters birth family. In fact, I was somewhat against if. At the time I thought there was no reason for it. I was now her mother, and she had a new family and a new life. I have touched on this subject a few times in the old blog so I won’t elaborate much, but as most of you know, my feelings about this changed dramatically after meeting Olena. I am now actually somewhat embarrassed about my selfish and shallow thinking. After bringing this little girl into our lives, I found that I was often thinking about her birth family. Who did she get those huge brown eyes from? does her passion for singing come from one of her birth parents? What does her brother look like? These are only a fraction of the many questions that had crossed my mind the winter of 2006/07. We have always known from the very beginning that she had an older brother. During our appointment we given very limited information and were told that it was irrelevant because he had been adopted by a Spanish couple before Olena was even born and the family wasn’t even aware of her existence. Gene did ask some questions and we knew he was adopted in 2003 and at that time he was 2 years old, that was all I had and honestly I figured that would be all we would ever know.
In the Spring of 2007 when we decided to move forward with the birth family search. Not only was Gene was able to meet Olga and Sergey (Olena’s BP) but he was able to meet with the orphanage director and explain my desire to find Olena’s bio brother. Because she is such a kind and wonderful woman she gave Gene her brother’s birth name, birth date, adoptive name, adoption date (which was the same day we arrived home from Ukraine 12/17), and the address that they had on file. I was ecstatic and completely overwhelmed with joy. The day I got the information, I immediately typed up a letter, had it translated to Spanish and sent it off in the mail, hoping for a leap of faith. Well months went by and I didn’t hear anything. I thought about writing again, but feared that maybe they didn’t want to have contact and I didn’t want to disrespect their decision. As time went on, I couldn’t help but to think about him. What did he look like, did he have the same love of animals as Olena, was he just as stubborn, and independent? I sat on the computer many nights. Searching the Spanish blogs and chat rooms, I even spoke with several families who children were the same age as Alvaro, and where adopted at the same time – hoping that one of them would remember him or have a picture. Every road I took was a dead end though. Nothing and not even an inch closer to finding him. Finally in January of this year I signed up with a sibling database as a last hope for one day finding him.
Then Monday morning while sitting at work, I open my email and see something in my inbox with a subject line in Spanish, I recognized the last name but at this point we did not have the adoptive parents first name so I was a bit unsure. I hesitated for a minute suspecting a virus but something told me to just go ahead and open it. The second I did I seen the picture I start bawling. I knew right then that we found him. FINALLY!!! With tears pouring out of my eyes, I read the email and found out that they had moved over 3 years ago and earlier that day the postman delivered them the letter that I had written over 1 year ago! They were very happy to hear from us, and feel that it is very important that the kids keep in touch and grow to know each other over the years to come.
Of course right now, neither of children understand, but hopefully as they grow they will learn and appreciate what opportunities life has given them, and even though they won’t be blessed enough to grow up together, they are still brother and sister and no amount of distance can change that.
Part of my heart aches because I wish more than anything that they could be together but I know that they are both right where they were meant to be and that we will somehow make it work. I couldn’t be happier! Olena is very special, and now one of the luckiest girls in the world. Her family circle is now complete, and she should never have any fears or doubts about where she came from and who her family is.
Two people, who were to poor to raise these beautiful children, have blessed two families with the best gift anybody, could ask for. Two happy, gorgeous, kind, and brilliant babies.
In the Spring of 2007 when we decided to move forward with the birth family search. Not only was Gene was able to meet Olga and Sergey (Olena’s BP) but he was able to meet with the orphanage director and explain my desire to find Olena’s bio brother. Because she is such a kind and wonderful woman she gave Gene her brother’s birth name, birth date, adoptive name, adoption date (which was the same day we arrived home from Ukraine 12/17), and the address that they had on file. I was ecstatic and completely overwhelmed with joy. The day I got the information, I immediately typed up a letter, had it translated to Spanish and sent it off in the mail, hoping for a leap of faith. Well months went by and I didn’t hear anything. I thought about writing again, but feared that maybe they didn’t want to have contact and I didn’t want to disrespect their decision. As time went on, I couldn’t help but to think about him. What did he look like, did he have the same love of animals as Olena, was he just as stubborn, and independent? I sat on the computer many nights. Searching the Spanish blogs and chat rooms, I even spoke with several families who children were the same age as Alvaro, and where adopted at the same time – hoping that one of them would remember him or have a picture. Every road I took was a dead end though. Nothing and not even an inch closer to finding him. Finally in January of this year I signed up with a sibling database as a last hope for one day finding him.
Then Monday morning while sitting at work, I open my email and see something in my inbox with a subject line in Spanish, I recognized the last name but at this point we did not have the adoptive parents first name so I was a bit unsure. I hesitated for a minute suspecting a virus but something told me to just go ahead and open it. The second I did I seen the picture I start bawling. I knew right then that we found him. FINALLY!!! With tears pouring out of my eyes, I read the email and found out that they had moved over 3 years ago and earlier that day the postman delivered them the letter that I had written over 1 year ago! They were very happy to hear from us, and feel that it is very important that the kids keep in touch and grow to know each other over the years to come.
Of course right now, neither of children understand, but hopefully as they grow they will learn and appreciate what opportunities life has given them, and even though they won’t be blessed enough to grow up together, they are still brother and sister and no amount of distance can change that.
Part of my heart aches because I wish more than anything that they could be together but I know that they are both right where they were meant to be and that we will somehow make it work. I couldn’t be happier! Olena is very special, and now one of the luckiest girls in the world. Her family circle is now complete, and she should never have any fears or doubts about where she came from and who her family is.
Two people, who were to poor to raise these beautiful children, have blessed two families with the best gift anybody, could ask for. Two happy, gorgeous, kind, and brilliant babies.
Comments
I am so happy for you and can't wait to hear about the day they finally meet eachother.