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praying for patience.

I have no idea why but I have completely lost all patience the last few days. Deep in the pit of my stomach there is this anxiety that is just eating away at me and the only thing it is good for is making me short fused. I don't have any particular stress going on and nothing to really worry about in my life but it is there, and I can't make it go away. Any tiny bit of arguing that my hubby gives me, just jabs at my side and makes me bite my tough to avoid speaking the very unGodly words I am thinking. I could share the long list of things that Olena is doing that is driving me out of mind this week, but for the sake of my good heart and fact that I am trying to draw in some kind of positive energy tonight, I will throw that list away. Something I will whine about is the fact that this little girl NEVER STOPS TALKING!!! I tried to vent to my mom yesterday in some hopes that she would understand and come up with some magic answer but instead, all I got where a few good laughs. Seems He put the joke on me. According to both of my darling parents, I had the same problem. However, I can hardly imagine that I ever had that much to talk about and not to mention I was the perfect child!! :) lol! It has been so bad I found myself in deep prayer for patience at the STOP sign today when the guy in front of me found it necessary to sit there for over 10 minutes waiting for cars that were 3 miles away. Oh and the mail lady.....who keeps taking MY parking spot in front of my house - though there is not a single car in the street anywhere. Today when I got home she was AGAIN in my spot. She was packing up to leave and putting her bags in the back of the van, I pulled up real fast and real close then sat there and waited for her to move, all while giving her my stink eye. When she pulled away she was watching me through her mirror, I pulled into my spot and gave her a big smile. OK that was very childish and wrong to do, but boy did it feel right at the time. Then I asked for forgiveness and had to laugh at myself a little bit. What has the day resorted to when you are bullying the mail lady!

I now have 1 1/2 hours before J gets home, Olena's asleep and it is finally quite so I think it is time for some reflection and work to squash this nasty spirit who has reared her head this week.

Comments

vodkamartini said…
Oh, I know EXACTLY how you feel!!!
I know I get this way when I haven't been taking care of "me". You get stretched VERRRRRY thin taking care of everyone else and then the patience starts to run short. My suggestion is to find a way to take some time just for yourself. I also know how easier said this is than done, but you can't drive a car on an empty gas tank, you can't run on empty either!If it makes you feel any better, both of my girls talk CONSTANTLY and I get the "knowing laugh" from my Mom too. I've even got someone on my street who takes my parking space, and I hate to admit it, but all of that coupled with a peri-menopausal state of mind makes me a raving lunatic some days! As a matter of fact, I'm taking a mental health day tomorrow and going to get a pedicure. I've also been known to "run away" to the local library just to get some peace and quiet!

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