It is after 11pm at night, I am sitting in a completely quiet, peaceful, warm breezy house. I am soaking up every moment and really appreciating it for what it has to offer me right now...REPRIEVE!
I am so exhausted I cannot even fall asleep. Fighting a bad case of insomnia and after tossing and turning for over 30 minutes I figured I would just get up and wait for the heavy eye lids to return.
The last 2 weeks have been extremely challenging, not to mention a true test of my Faith. I have had to deal with some of the most difficult, negative and self loathing people I have ever encountered, and have had every possible thing go wrong in the mean time. There has not been a single solitary day in that last 14 days that a problem has not occurred. The honest to goodness reason I am still sane or even alive today is because I have prayed....a lot, and every prayer has been answered. It is the only thing that keeps me strong and has allowed me to wake up every day and face it all over again. It has helped to handle situations that have made me want to scream. It has helped me from not putting someone in the sleeper hold until they passed out on the floor because they were driving me completely crazy. It has helped me answer my work phone in a sweet and pleasant voice at 4a in the morning when I really want to tell them to shut up and just go back to bed and just leave me alone!!! It has been the only reason I have survived!
I can't go into detail but I will let you know that my immediate family is healthy and perfectly fine ~ but I am in a situation that deals with extended family that has been very hard. This. coupled with a new part time job I have had to pick up due to the family situation, my normal part time work with ALine, the Homeschool Partnership I am heading, homeschooling Olena, my best friends bridal shower and wedding, not to mention my actual life with my husband and daughter....everything and everyone is pulling me in so many directions. While I am completely overwhelmed, I am not complaining. I choose all this, I choose to take action for what I thought was right. My family is fine. My husband is supportive and my daughter is still happy so I keep trudging forward. I won't lie, I don't like it. I cry once at least every couple of days. I am busy from 5a until 10:30 at night, I function on about 5 hours of sleep and I feel like a zombie. I want to walk away. I have thought to myself on several occasions over the last few days, would it be so bad to just cut my losses? pick up with Olena and spend the summer down south? Visit family, stay with friends, and just enjoy the summer and each other? Forget the phone at home and loose all passwords to the computer. Run as far away as possible!!! SIGH!
As appealing as all that sounds at this very moment, God wants me here right now. This is where I am needed and regardless of how hard it is for me, I am doing His work. So I will lay my head down tonight, thank Him again for getting me through it, and wake up tomorrow just to start all over again.
Good night my friends!
I am so exhausted I cannot even fall asleep. Fighting a bad case of insomnia and after tossing and turning for over 30 minutes I figured I would just get up and wait for the heavy eye lids to return.
The last 2 weeks have been extremely challenging, not to mention a true test of my Faith. I have had to deal with some of the most difficult, negative and self loathing people I have ever encountered, and have had every possible thing go wrong in the mean time. There has not been a single solitary day in that last 14 days that a problem has not occurred. The honest to goodness reason I am still sane or even alive today is because I have prayed....a lot, and every prayer has been answered. It is the only thing that keeps me strong and has allowed me to wake up every day and face it all over again. It has helped to handle situations that have made me want to scream. It has helped me from not putting someone in the sleeper hold until they passed out on the floor because they were driving me completely crazy. It has helped me answer my work phone in a sweet and pleasant voice at 4a in the morning when I really want to tell them to shut up and just go back to bed and just leave me alone!!! It has been the only reason I have survived!
I can't go into detail but I will let you know that my immediate family is healthy and perfectly fine ~ but I am in a situation that deals with extended family that has been very hard. This. coupled with a new part time job I have had to pick up due to the family situation, my normal part time work with ALine, the Homeschool Partnership I am heading, homeschooling Olena, my best friends bridal shower and wedding, not to mention my actual life with my husband and daughter....everything and everyone is pulling me in so many directions. While I am completely overwhelmed, I am not complaining. I choose all this, I choose to take action for what I thought was right. My family is fine. My husband is supportive and my daughter is still happy so I keep trudging forward. I won't lie, I don't like it. I cry once at least every couple of days. I am busy from 5a until 10:30 at night, I function on about 5 hours of sleep and I feel like a zombie. I want to walk away. I have thought to myself on several occasions over the last few days, would it be so bad to just cut my losses? pick up with Olena and spend the summer down south? Visit family, stay with friends, and just enjoy the summer and each other? Forget the phone at home and loose all passwords to the computer. Run as far away as possible!!! SIGH!
As appealing as all that sounds at this very moment, God wants me here right now. This is where I am needed and regardless of how hard it is for me, I am doing His work. So I will lay my head down tonight, thank Him again for getting me through it, and wake up tomorrow just to start all over again.
Good night my friends!
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