The time has come. Though our adoption is not final we are comfortable sharing a bit more information and sharing a few details of what types of days we have been facing.
Iryna (pronounced Ear-ina) is 11 years old from Ukraine, the Donestk region. She likes to go by the nick name of Ira. (ear-a). She was sadly placed in an orphanage for the mentally impaired at a young age, however, you can clearly tell that was not where she belonged.
In my own opinion her story is divine, amazing and nothing short of a miracle. To be in the "older child" category, in a home for the handicap, and just about to age out of that current home in a matter of days. Hope for finding a family at this point is usually slim to none.
But by God's amazing grace a family from the US was willing to call her their daughter. For a girl with such tragety in her short life, most would imagine that this story went on and ulitmately had a happy ending. Her and her new "forever family", were finally together. They brought her home with the hopes and dreams of blending her with their family, their community, their lives. They had the daughter that they had been praying for and she had the family that was far beyond what her little mind could ever imagine.
BUT lets remember one thing, she is institutionalized. A child who grew up with nothing, had nothing to herself, knew nothing of the real world, didn't even have the concept of what a family is. She was a feral child who was raised within block walls, fed, clothed and kept from the elements. That was it! Now after nine years, after everything she was raised to know and "understand" was being pulled out from underneath her. Of course, she was being saved though right? She was about to have everything she ever wanted or could ever dream of. And as wonderful...loving...and perfect all of that sounds, it's not. She lost herself. She lost her "mind". The sites, the sounds, the overwhelming number of material things, the unlimited food, the sense of entitlement built more and more by the day, the strong feeling of desire enables her ability to control herself, her urges, her wants. She is finally "unleashed" and she has no idea how to control that.
From what I can tell. They gave it every effort they could. But this is a not everyone's cup of tea. Frankly, I don't believe it is anybody's cup of tea. No parent in their right mind wants to live with a child like this. It is exhausting, mind numbing, and emotional. You do things you never thought you would do, you say things and think things you judged others for. In order to keep her safe, them safe and their family intact they chose to disrupt her adoption after about a year.
She moved on. Another mother, ready to call her a daughter. Welcomed her home with a big happy heart. Just as the first family had, she had Faith. Faith that God knew exactly what he was doing and she worked her tail off trying to help this beautiful and vibrant child understand the world and how to be part of a family. Some battles she won, but many she lost. Day after day, as her mother, you wake and trudge forward all awhile reminding yourself that God has his path, he will help mend this child and fix her mind, all you have to do is keep waking up and be willing to try. And that she did. Sadly, again, after a year and a half, they had to make the choice that was best for everyone. They were being pulled out of the ground by their roots and they realized they had done what they could to help her. If they wanted to save their family, they had to be willing to move forward without her.
And that is finally where we come in. We heard about her in November, spent a few months thinking and praying and decided we would accept her into our family. We had wanted another child for years, she was exactly what we prayed for, but did come with a bit of extra behavioral baggage. We went into this with full intentions of never looking back. Never throwing in the towel. We tell ourselves every day, this is her final stop. But as I sit and think as I often do at night, don't you think the other families welcomed her with that same heart? that same vision?... what makes us different?
In four months, I have seen first hand what both of these families have experienced. It is only by the Grace of God that they lasted as long as they did before choosing to disrupt so there is NO DOUBT in my mind that both of these families wanted what was best for her, wanted to give her the life she deserves, the love she never had....all of it. But she just doesn't know how to let that happen. Her behavior is some of the most atrocious behavior I have ever seen my life from a child. However, I have looked into her big blue eyes. I have seen that little lost girl, wandering, She is trying to find the right way but she is still way to overwhelmed, confused and misguided. I can't change His path, her past has proven that to me. All I do know, is that I belong in life right now and hopefully forever. I am going to wake up every morning, call myself her mother and raise her the best I can.
Iryna (pronounced Ear-ina) is 11 years old from Ukraine, the Donestk region. She likes to go by the nick name of Ira. (ear-a). She was sadly placed in an orphanage for the mentally impaired at a young age, however, you can clearly tell that was not where she belonged.
In my own opinion her story is divine, amazing and nothing short of a miracle. To be in the "older child" category, in a home for the handicap, and just about to age out of that current home in a matter of days. Hope for finding a family at this point is usually slim to none.
But by God's amazing grace a family from the US was willing to call her their daughter. For a girl with such tragety in her short life, most would imagine that this story went on and ulitmately had a happy ending. Her and her new "forever family", were finally together. They brought her home with the hopes and dreams of blending her with their family, their community, their lives. They had the daughter that they had been praying for and she had the family that was far beyond what her little mind could ever imagine.
BUT lets remember one thing, she is institutionalized. A child who grew up with nothing, had nothing to herself, knew nothing of the real world, didn't even have the concept of what a family is. She was a feral child who was raised within block walls, fed, clothed and kept from the elements. That was it! Now after nine years, after everything she was raised to know and "understand" was being pulled out from underneath her. Of course, she was being saved though right? She was about to have everything she ever wanted or could ever dream of. And as wonderful...loving...and perfect all of that sounds, it's not. She lost herself. She lost her "mind". The sites, the sounds, the overwhelming number of material things, the unlimited food, the sense of entitlement built more and more by the day, the strong feeling of desire enables her ability to control herself, her urges, her wants. She is finally "unleashed" and she has no idea how to control that.
From what I can tell. They gave it every effort they could. But this is a not everyone's cup of tea. Frankly, I don't believe it is anybody's cup of tea. No parent in their right mind wants to live with a child like this. It is exhausting, mind numbing, and emotional. You do things you never thought you would do, you say things and think things you judged others for. In order to keep her safe, them safe and their family intact they chose to disrupt her adoption after about a year.
She moved on. Another mother, ready to call her a daughter. Welcomed her home with a big happy heart. Just as the first family had, she had Faith. Faith that God knew exactly what he was doing and she worked her tail off trying to help this beautiful and vibrant child understand the world and how to be part of a family. Some battles she won, but many she lost. Day after day, as her mother, you wake and trudge forward all awhile reminding yourself that God has his path, he will help mend this child and fix her mind, all you have to do is keep waking up and be willing to try. And that she did. Sadly, again, after a year and a half, they had to make the choice that was best for everyone. They were being pulled out of the ground by their roots and they realized they had done what they could to help her. If they wanted to save their family, they had to be willing to move forward without her.
And that is finally where we come in. We heard about her in November, spent a few months thinking and praying and decided we would accept her into our family. We had wanted another child for years, she was exactly what we prayed for, but did come with a bit of extra behavioral baggage. We went into this with full intentions of never looking back. Never throwing in the towel. We tell ourselves every day, this is her final stop. But as I sit and think as I often do at night, don't you think the other families welcomed her with that same heart? that same vision?... what makes us different?
In four months, I have seen first hand what both of these families have experienced. It is only by the Grace of God that they lasted as long as they did before choosing to disrupt so there is NO DOUBT in my mind that both of these families wanted what was best for her, wanted to give her the life she deserves, the love she never had....all of it. But she just doesn't know how to let that happen. Her behavior is some of the most atrocious behavior I have ever seen my life from a child. However, I have looked into her big blue eyes. I have seen that little lost girl, wandering, She is trying to find the right way but she is still way to overwhelmed, confused and misguided. I can't change His path, her past has proven that to me. All I do know, is that I belong in life right now and hopefully forever. I am going to wake up every morning, call myself her mother and raise her the best I can.
Comments
Also, I think she looks like you. That gives you one that looks like Jason and one that looks like you. Its those eyes!:)