Notice anything different?

The mid-year or maybe mid-life crisis is upon me.  I have lost all physical and mental stability that I had.  I am tired, extremely unmotivated,  brain dead and emotional.  I have already had 2 mini melt downs about homeschooling - fearing my ability and decision.  Every time I try to read something I don't comprehend a darn word, it is like my brain is completely fogged over.  I also have a pity party going on in my head for myself.  I have not been necessarily depressed on the outside but the thoughts are constantly going and it seems like it never rests. I can tell I am on over drive because I have crazy off the wall very vivid dreams when this happens, and so far for the last 2 weeks this has been the case nearly every night

After some thinking and praying last night I thought about this... if a person is not growing, then they are dying.  Growth is something I can honestly say has not happened for quite some time.  Myself and this family have been on the straight and narrow for the last 5 years.  No changes, No growth.  Play it safe and keep it routine. There are lots a things in the "bank", per say, but for one reason or another they just don't ever seem to work out.  Some things, sadly, have not happened due to lack of effort.  Other things, just haven't found the right time.  


 
The weather here has cooled by about 15 degrees this evening in a matter of hours. The beautiful sunny sky of the day clouded over as the sun set. The rain has steadily but gently been falling ever since.  It is peaceful sitting here with the window open listening to it, it has a way of completely quieting the mind and the world around me.  There is no wind but the smell of wet earth is very strong and fills the room. 
I think I will sit here for a little while, forget about the chores I still have to do and appreciate the blessing of senerity He has just given me.